SINGAPORE – Love That Lasts: Secrets from Couples Celebrating Decades Together
In a bustling city like Singapore, where life moves quickly, some couples have discovered the secret to a lasting marriage. Take Mr. Tay Yan Yong, 94, and his wife, Madam Soh Gek Lan, 91. After 71 years of marriage, they attribute their success to one simple principle: giving each other space.
A Calm Approach to Love
Mr. Tay shared in Teochew that they avoid exchanging angry words. Instead, they prefer to pause and resume conversations only when they’ve calmed down. This thoughtful approach has helped them navigate challenges, including when Madam Soh suffered a stroke seven years ago. Mr. Tay became her primary caregiver, ensuring she received the love and attention she needed. Their eldest daughter, Tay Soi Hue, 70, praised her father’s dedication, highlighting how he tended to her mother’s every need.
On February 24, the couple renewed their vows, surrounded by 164 other couples at the Golden Jubilee Wedding Celebrations (GJWC) held at the Sands Expo and Convention Centre. This event, organized by the Families for Life Council and the Registry of Marriages, marked the first physical gathering post-pandemic for couples celebrating over 50 years of marriage.
From Matchmaking to Marriage
Mr. Tay and Madam Soh were introduced by relatives when he was just 22 and she was 19. After a year of getting to know each other, they tied the knot. Mr. Tay juggled two jobs as the main breadwinner, working as a boilermaker at Sembawang Shipyard and building houses on weekends. Meanwhile, Madam Soh expertly managed their household. They raised six children in a kampung in Chong Pang before moving to their current flat in Ang Mo Kio in 1992. Their daughter attests that despite facing challenges, their love remains unwavering.
Lessons from Other Couples
Retired court interpreter Sivanandan Nadarajoo, 75, also knows the value of patience in love. He met his wife, Madam Theresa Lauzar, 74, when he was 19. Their relationship faced hurdles due to her father’s initial resistance over religious differences, but they waited six years to marry. Mr. Sivanandan dedicated over 50 years to the judiciary system to support his family, while Madam Lauzar took care of their children. Like the Tays, they prioritize calm communication and never go to bed angry, celebrating 50 years of marriage.
Another inspiring couple is Mr. William Dominic Vanderstraaten, 77, and Ms. Maria Anthony, 73. Their love story began on Pulau Blakang Mati (now Sentosa), where Mr. Vanderstraaten was drawn to Maria for her unique style. Married for 53 years, they have three daughters and describe each other as best friends.
Building Strong Marriages
During the GJWC event, President Tharman shared these heartwarming stories, emphasizing the importance of understanding and commitment in relationships. Minister for Social and Family Development, Masagos Zulkifli, highlighted the need for regular check-ins and intentional efforts to maintain a healthy relationship. He introduced a new relationship self-assessment tool called Our Marriage Journey Quiz, which couples can access at this link, along with a discussion guide to help couples reflect on their relationships.
Takeaways for Couples
This news serves as a reminder that communication, understanding, and commitment are vital in any marriage. Couples can learn from these long-lasting relationships and strive to build a strong partnership. Here are some practical tips to enhance your marriage:
– **Communicate Calmly**: After an argument, take a moment to cool down before discussing the issue.
– **Prioritize Quality Time**: Schedule regular date nights or activities to reconnect.
– **Practice Patience**: Understand that every relationship has its ups and downs; give each other grace during tough times.
By embracing these principles, couples can foster a loving and enduring relationship. How can you apply these lessons to your own marriage? Remember, every small effort counts!